I was strolling down the alley one morning in Chicago when I happened upon a paradise.

Kids were on swings, climbing on the rooftops of miniature houses, and making a lot of noise.

I poked my nose through the chain link fence, and asked one of the merry makers:

"How old do you have to be to get in here?" ?

"How old are you?" ? he shot back with a smart aleck tone.

"I'm three," ? I replied, summoning most mature voice.

"Well, you have to be four," ? he taunted, and then scrambled away, intent on frolicking with no more intrusions.

This story means a lot to me, of course, because it's utterly true, and it points out that age limitations are awfully arbitrary, aren't they?

I don't know who made that cut off, or if the kid invented it on his own, but barriers like this exist, and I've never liked them.

Throughout school I was considered young for my grade, having been born at the end of October. Actually, this worked to my benefit because I got, what I considered an extra year of Little League.

By the time I was with my twelve year-old peers, I was already a hardened pro, and I actually set national records that year. Having played against tougher competition in my school grades, that final Little League year was gravy.

Still, age is used far too often to exclude, and that's what the Chicago nursery school episode showed me.

My older sister once tried to comfort me by saying, "Gary, you'll find in life that you're either too young or too old, and you're never just right." ?

Sounds a little like that line from "Alice In Wonderland," ? doesn't it? Jam yesterday, and jam tomorrow, but no jam today.

Well, I have an answer.

Don't disclose your age to anybody unless you're under the threat of death.

Whoever is asking is probably up to no good.

He's probably comparing his accomplishments to yours, or wondering how you've retained your good looks, or he just wants to erect an exclusionary barrier.

When asked, try this reply, just to vex him:

"I'm young enough, and old enough, which means I'm just right." ?

And then tear down that chain link fence, and go have fun, wherever you like!